Moonrise over our farm.
Dear friends and followers, once again (4th, time in 7 years) I was
headed for the great Unknown and yet again, it was my Darling
Daughter who recognised the signs. She was only here for a few
days before flying back to San Francisco and on to the Edinburgh
DD is a lady of action, quickly donning her Guardian Angel hat,
drove her parents into the local hospital, where my husband was
Ten years of the strain of looking after him as he sank deeper
and deeper into dementia, was yet again, taking it's toll on my
75 year old, rheumatic fever ravaged heart. I have two man-made
heart valves and now, the third one was refusing to co-operate.
My kidneys were shutting down, causing a massive build-up
of water, not only in the body, but the brain as well.
Impeded thought processes and pulsating vision, put a stop to
blogging as well as many other activities.
I had always hoped that I could look after my husband until he
no longer remembered us. Unfortunately, the disease was making
him physically aggressive again as well as very controlling
without any understanding of what he was doing.
The outcome of this tale of woe is that he will have to be
institutionalised and I am up for many blood tests and specialist
visits, with the hope of being returned to some sort of 'normalcy'
where I can still live alone without needing outside assistance.
Even in the darkest night, the moon still rises.
Thank you all so much who have looked in and sent me supportive
thoughts and prayers.
Each and every one has been greatly appreciated.
My dearest Arija, my heart aches for you and your family and I do hope that not only the moon, but the sun will soon rise on a better day, a better life for you and your family! A wonderful capture for the day and a sign of hope! My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you.ReplyDelete
Sylvia, it is prayers and thoughts that keep me together. Thank you so much.Delete
oh, arija. i am sorry for all of the troubles you are going through, but am grateful your daughter took action. your husband does need care that you cannot give him. it is too much for one person to bear - especially with your own condition. my sister had rheumatic fever as a child, underwent 2 open heart surgeries. sadly, she died one cold december night at the age of 47. i know her battles with valves that leak, fluid retention, etc. were serious. i am so glad YOU are getting the care you need, too.ReplyDelete
Thank you Theresa. I am so sorry to hear of your sister. The loss of mine this year robbed me of my main support and aged me by 15 years while I sat at her bedside. Sisters are so important.Delete
Dear Arija.. how very happy I am to hear you are getting the help you needed for your failing health, thanks to your daughter... but also saddened to hear that your husbands dementia has been brought to this point!!ReplyDelete
You will be in my thoughts and prayers!!
Blessing from my heart to yours
My prayers are with you Arija. I know it can't be easy to let go of caretaking your hubby yet you must think of your own health as well. So glad your daughter was there for you both. It's so easy to be in denial when it comes to loved ones. Please take care of yourself.ReplyDelete
Dear Arija, my heart goes out to you. How good to have a daughter to fly to your side and take charge until your situation has stabilized. What a cruel fate for your husband to sink into dementia and for you to lose who he was. I hope you'll recuperate fully and that life will be good again. My thoughts are with you.ReplyDelete
Words fail me, Arija.ReplyDelete
Bless your darling daughter, such an angel!
I am sure your sister is looking out for you and wants you to get back your health, and soon.
I am so sorry about your husband.
Arija, I am so sorry about you and your families health problems. My father had dementia and I know how hard it is to handle a person with this illness. I am so happy your daughter was there for you when you really needed help. My thoughts and prayers are for you and your dear hubby. Take Care!ReplyDelete
I had worried but didnt like to ask. A scary and uncomfortable time for you and so sad that it all happens when your defences are down. Thinking of you.ReplyDelete
I think my comment went off into the great abyss. What I said was that I hadnt liked to ask but was worried for you. It is such a scary and sad time that you are going through. Thinking of you.ReplyDelete
Arija, I am glad you are able to write and tell us, but I am so sorry for the heartache and the illness. I will be thinking of you every day. xoxoReplyDelete
Oh my dearest Arija, I was afraid you have been quiet lately. I am so sorry. I am so glad your daughter was there. I am sorry to hear that the professor cannot be at home but it is your turn to take care of yourself now. So so much love, many joys and happiness also mean many heartaches and pain when our loved ones and our lives take turns. I know you will do your best because that's what you always do, but just remember that someone over here love you so tenderly, so much. Be strong my dearest Arija. I love you. Tsup!ReplyDelete
I am sorry to hear this. I will be praying for you as I have up to now. God will take care of both you and your husband.ReplyDelete
Such a lot you have been through - I am so sorry dear Arija,for these stressful and challenging issues you have had to face.ReplyDelete
May your health now get back onto a more even keel, and physical demands lessen, although the emotional ones cannot be easy to face. Dementia is very difficult to deal with.I know watching my family,how you would have done an excellent job to the best of your ability. Time to hand over the task to the professionals and try to rest up and recuperate from these recent tough times. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I was afraid that the quiet did not mean good news...You did everything you could with the exception of letting the situation take your own life and that wouldn't have been a fitting tribute to your long marriage. Your husband would not have wanted that for you. Easy for me to say and I hope I never have to put it into practice. Thank goodness for your daughter and that you get this chance to get back on your feet. Cognitive issues keep me awake at night wondering and hoping that my brain stays in tact with my illness. Please try to come to peace with what you had to do and to rest up. There are still beautiful sunrises for you...hugs..MichelleReplyDelete
Hi Arija, i am not a constant follower so not very updated. But my heart goes to you and your family for having such conditions going on now! I am so awed that even at that conditions you were able to blog for us to know. My prayers with you and husband. Yes after the storm the sun always rises and everything is at its best in God's hands. Just be at peace with yourself now and let God always be there. Our positive thoughts are with you.ReplyDelete
Relinquishing the caretaker role for your dearly loved life partner is agonizing and hard to come to terms with. What a blessing that your daughter visited and saw the toll it was taking on you and took charge and found the right course of action for you both. Dementia is not easy to deal with for someone young and healthy and it's amazing you were able to cope for so long. Rest easy in letting others take over your burden and focus now on taking care of yourself. My prayers are with you.ReplyDelete
Thinking of you Arija from here on the other side of the world. Love to you. Get well soon and keep strong.ReplyDelete
I am so so sorry. Hurting for you, and hurting with you.ReplyDelete
Your recognition of the beauty of the moon is a sign to me of your intrinsic strength. Yes, there is beauty even in the darkest days and recognising that is sometimes all that keeps us going.
I hope that your own medical emergencies are quickly resolved so you can bask in a little sunshine again.
Bless you Arija. I was SO worried, not knowing who to reach for your well being, but thankfully for your daughter. She truely is an angel! I think and pray for you every day and we are surely birds of a feather as the saying goes. I will write more later in an email. I'm just glad to hear from you, and I trust things WILL get better very soon.ReplyDelete
Take care my friend♥
Hello Arija...I was out of blogosphere for a while and just came to check your post. I'm so sorry to learn about what is going on in your life. You're in my thoughts and in my prayers...ReplyDelete
How I wish I could wrap my arms around you and give you a kiss on your cheeks. You and your husband are in my heart and thoughts today. Bless your guardian angel. TSUP TSUP TSUP TSUPReplyDelete
Oh dear that is a lot to manage, sending warm thoughts and prayers for you and the familyReplyDelete
Great composition, very good post!ReplyDelete
Keep us advised as we wish only the best for you and your husband. Boom & Gary of the Vermilon River, Canada.ReplyDelete
I´m so sorry to hear this dear Arija!I thinking of you in my thoughts and prayers!Get well soon and stay strong!ReplyDelete
I'm so sorry that you have had so much to cope with both concerning your own health as well as that of your husband's health. You are in my heart and thoughts.ReplyDelete
Arija, Thank goodness your daughter came just when most needed! I hope you and your husband are both in good medical hands. I'll be thinking of you here in CO. Keep us informed of your health if you are able.ReplyDelete
You are indeed a trooper! The touch of beauty in your sky photos seems to symbolise that you still continue in hope that the troubled waters will settle! I admire your courage so much! Inspirational! Namaste!ReplyDelete
Life can be too hard sometimes, but behind every cloud is the sun. And behind the sun is God whom we can put our trust. Keep on praying and trusting sister.ReplyDelete
In the darkness you seem to be able to see goodness and light. What a trooper you are. Life isn't easy for sure.ReplyDelete
Dear Arija, you and your family are in my prayers and thoughts. Remember, right before the dawn is the darkest.ReplyDelete
i'm so sorry to hear of all this...the heartache you have endured...and with your own medical problems too. keep watch on the moon for strength. and know that you have so many who are sending their warm wishes & hopes in your direction!! you are in my thoughts...ReplyDelete
Dear girl, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband for strength, acceptance and healing as best you can.ReplyDelete
Arija, it was heartbreaking to read not only of your dear husband's health issues, but of yours as well. It is so hard to remember to take care of one's own health while trying to care for another as you have been doing. My prayers Ann thoughts are with you and your family through these difficult times.ReplyDelete
Oh my dear Arija. My heart aches for you and my thoughts (tho belated, I've been away) are with you and yours. Thankful that your daughter was there to support you and oh -- I am so sorry and my best thoughts are coming your way. Please take care of yourself --ReplyDelete
such a wonderful read - sending you and your family healing hugs. Love your photos ;-)ReplyDelete
visiting from Skywatch Friday.